“You should marry your best friend, because you would never hurt your best friend.” These were the wise words of Scott Parker, my spiritual father, when I had started becoming part of his family as he and his lovely wife began to treat me (and still do) like their own daughter after we met at a Messianic church in Charlotte, NC.
I had arrived to the United States alone and extremely disoriented. Moreover, I became overwhelmed by almost everything around me. I knew the language, but to think in English all day left me exhausted. People told jokes that I didn’t comprehend. The supermarket offered so many options to the family basket products that many times I came back home empty-handed or with more than I needed because I couldn’t make a decision. Having to drive on the interstate gave me panic attacks, for which I “managed” to get to places through the inner city-roads, though I usually got lost and called Scott to rescue me over the phone.
-Dad… I’m lost.
-Where are you, my child?
-I don’t know!!! (ugly cry)
Everything was new, exciting, and strange, which gave me the opportunity to learn something every day, but also gave me plenty of room to feel embarrassed by my ignorance.
1.5 years after living in the United States, I met the man who would become my husband. As I mentioned above, everything was new, exciting, and strange. I ignored all the red flags, starting with, he was never my best friend. However, this was a new culture for me. Thinking things were awkward because we came from different countries I found excuses to continue in a relationship that didn’t make me happy. “We’re in love,” I used to say without going any deep into the subject. We got married. We got divorced. End of the story.
Almost ten years later, I met a man who shook my world. He is new, exciting, and… different. The fact that we met during the pandemic and didn’t see each other until after 7 weeks of texting and talking gave us a real chance. Looking at him is like looking to a mirror and walking into it. In this mirror I see joy and glimpses of the future. He is generous with his words, his time, his thoughts of me, his thoughts of us…
We say “I love you” often, not only with words, but with actions. Nevertheless, a few weeks ago, he told me, “You are my best friend.” This statement lit up every fiber of my being. He knows everything about me and still loves me, not despite of that, but because of that. We get lost into serious conversations, into our silliness, and into our deep feelings for each other.
“And you are my best friend,” I responded without hesitation. I think, before this revelation, I had only identified my best friends outside of a romantic relationship. Now I realize, this is the foundation, to trust someone so much secrets evaporate, and with every confession, the flame of love grows stronger and hotter.
“You should marry your best friend, because you would never hurt your best friend.” Thank you for these sweet words, Dad. I have met my best friend, and we’re planning to stay in each other’s lives for the long run.